


one-sided understanding

by Angst_Distribution_Service (Fox_the_Hermit)



Category: Bleach
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Time Loop, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-19 09:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22042099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox_the_Hermit/pseuds/Angst_Distribution_Service
Summary: Ichigo always seems to already know everything about Kisuke, about who he is.And Kisuke learns that he's only ever been given inklings of Ichigo's true identity.UraIchi PC4 Prompt #37 - Identity.
Relationships: Kurosaki Ichigo/Urahara Kisuke
Comments: 5
Kudos: 133
Collections: UraIchi Prompt Challenge #4





	one-sided understanding

“-and so I kept coming back. Every time my family or friends or anyone would die- I’d restart the loop and go back to the beginning.”

“Ah. So the way you have been ready for everything-” Kisuke is reeling with the possibility. If Ichigo knows what is ahead- but how many times has he been in the future? How many different futures, different outcomes has he seen?

“It’s because I’ve lived through it a couple hundred times.”

Oh. Oh that is-

He needs to start asking questions, to write things down- there’s probably so little time for everything, if there have been so many attempts, so many loops-

Arms wrap around his waist, pulling him close to a warm, solid body, knowing exactly how to catch him when he starts falling into a spiral of ever more panicked thoughts, of uncontrolled fear that swallows up every rational thought.

A hand traces circles on his back, like Ichigo already knows where to touch, to calm him, make him feel good, make him-

Because Ichigo does. Already know. Because Ichigo has never been the stranger he's claimed to be.

Already gotten those secrets out of his body, already knows how to manipulate all of Kisuke’s physical responses, and his emotional ones, and- everything.

Like Aizen had known, once upon a time, always leaving Kisuke feeling a little uncertain and obtuse at not knowing every intimate detail in return.

Until he’d found out about the... memory wiping, and what happened for years before they got together, anyway.

That’s exactly what being with Ichigo feels like, minus the ill intent.

Except- is this even the first time Ichigo’s testing Kisuke’s reactions to different ways of revealing the truth? Just because Ichigo means him no ill, doesn’t mean he… wouldn’t try to _make_ Kisuke feel the best way possible.

 _Manipulate_ him to feel the best way possible, manipulate him to respond in the fashion Ichigo finds most pleasing.

Like he’s probably been doing every time they’ve… been _together_ , the way he’s so easily made Kisuke want more, want _him_ every time Ichigo came by.

The touch no longer feels comforting- it feels stifling, a trap, a _lie_.

How much of anything he's done or said was true, and not a truth carefully _warped_ to elicit a certain reaction? Or a flat lie?

Kisuke sharply pulls out of the embrace, backs away from Ichigo until he hits a wall, a tight, choking feeling in his throat cutting away his ability to breathe.

Ichigo stares at him, frowning, like he can’t place his reaction, for once. Like he genuinely needs to _think_ about how to proceed, for ones, not already knowing what to do, even if he can read the tells for what Kisuke’s _feeling_ , if not thinking.

“...I would like you to leave now, please.” Kisuke’s voice is strangled, muted, and he hates it, hates that Ichigo… Ichigo-san likely knows exactly _what_ he’s trying to swallow down, knows about the the sharp prickling at the corners of his eyes, the ache in his throat.

He hates, suddenly, that everything about him is known- without him having shared it.

He needs to- not have Ichigo-san - Kurosaki-san - whoever he may be in reality, around for a while.

Then- then he’ll be more practical about the knowledge he needs to get, and how it could best be done.

For now, he just needs to be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> [Cywscross' UraIchi Server](https://discordapp.com/invite/ADFnKTZ#_=_)


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